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Anxiousness

Our dog Daisy hates rain and stormy weather. She responds by going under our bed or in the corner behind our end table. She barks in fear and shakes uncontrollably. I try to hold her and tell her it’s going to be okay but she continues to shake. Even hours after the rain has stopped she has serious fear and anxiety.

God reminded me that I have been much like Daisy in the past with my anxiety. Granted I didn’t respond exactly the same, but I’ve been inconsolable. God has tried to comfort me through His Word. Doctors have tried to diagnose my condition. Friends have said words of love and care. Though, when you are in the midst of anxiety and fear, you have no idea how to stop it and make yourself feel better again. It’s as if your fear and anxiety take over and rob you of truly living a joyful happy life.

For those who may have never experienced anxiety, these are some things that can happen to a person when they feel anxious over a period of time.

1.) They sometimes feel like they can’t get a full breath, which is scary. I went to the hospital quite a few times because I couldn’t breath well.

2.) They have racing thoughts that keep them from resting at night.

3.) They feel like their life is out of control. So they begin doing things to try and gain control.

The times in my life that I experienced the most anxiety were when we first moved to the Philippines. We were only there three weeks before my husband Wade began traveling for work in South East Asia. My children were 5 and 7 at the time. We were all trying to adjust to a new culture, language, a huge city, and extremely crazy drivers.

In the first year there, we experienced a bombing five minutes away from our home. This shook our home and terrified us all. Wade was traveling at the time, so it was even more scary.

We found out that the main road we lived off of was nicknamed, “The Highway of Death”. There were many car accidents and deaths that took place of this road. This made me feel afraid to get in our Toyota Revo and drive even close by.

I began to realize that we were really alone and stuck on an island half way across the world. No one really wanted to visit us because it took 24 hours or more to get to Manila. Wade’s sister Donna was the only visitor from the US we ever received in our 9 years of living overseas. I found out over time how much loneliness isolates you.

I care about how anxiety has effected your life. When have you felt the most anxious? How did you try to console yourself? How did others reach out to you at that time?

Let me leave you with this quote. “Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it—just as we have learned to live with storms.” Paulo Coelho

19 replies on “Anxiousness”

Christine, this brought tears to my eyes! Moving away from all of our 42 years of Pittsburgh relationships was hard! I can not see our youngest granddaughter except on face time. I really know we’re where we’re supposed to be but being GOD’S will is very difficult sometimes. My love and prayers are with you! I’m so grateful for all that GOD has brought you through, and all HE’S bringing you through! Love you!

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Great articulation and reminder that we all go through things in life and we need to process our worries and fears honestly!

Keep on sharing and spreading the light Christine!!!

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Mrs. Christine, I have had anxiety since I was injured in 09’. I suffered a severe traumatic brain injury from being hit in the head by a jet ski. I was an Air Force Reserve Technician (ART) during the week and one weekend a month I did our Reserve training. After my injury and eventual retirement from 20 years of service, I had no idea what I was going to do. I wanted to stay in until they kicked me out, I just beat’em to the punch. Not real sure how people plan for a second career after a permanent and total injury. So after lots of prayers about anxiety and reading, trusting in Gods word between 09’ and 2017 God said I could go back to work. Long story, so after I finished college I applied and received a position with Dyn Corp international at Davis Monthan AFB in Tucson Az from Fort Worth, TX. Now back in Virginia closer to family, so that said, with God, ANYTHING is possible.

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Wow, thank you for sharing your story with me. I feel so honored. I’m praying for you as you journey with anxiety. I know it’s a difficult road. God is with you! He is for you! He will never abandon you!

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I know you read this to me already but I had to read it again. Most of it is very relatable. It’s reassuring sometimes when I feel like I’m not the “only one” who really gets it.
Is that a pic of you? Great pic that goes perfectly with your story!!

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One of the images of us in the Bible is sheep. We are the sheep of His pasture. Sheep have several characteristics, but one is that they are easily frightened. That is true of us in our frailty. I remember meeting with a man in the Pentagon when I had ministry there 2010-2018. He told me about the day when he had his interview to work there. He said that he’d arrived in the building early. He didn’t want to risk being late. To pass the time, he went for a walk in the inner courtyard of the building. It has grass, some trees and picnic tables. He said that his heart was beating so fast with anxiety that he thought it would come right out of his chest. Fear and anxiety takes different forms and comes in different circumstances.

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I usually don’t realize I am anxious until my body tells me. My anxiety usually manifests itself physically in head, neck, and back pain. I also sometimes have anxious dreams. If I dream I’m about to miss an airplane, I know that I am anxious and need to deal with something! God uses my mind and body tell me to stop and pay attention to what’s going on in my emotions.

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Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey, Christine. Few people back on the home front understand how difficult it can be to live a different culture, with a different language and customs. The life of an overseas missionary is definitely not easy, and the long term fall-out of unpleasant experiences can be severe.

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